Now My Heart Beats Faster
by Bittersweet Symphony
Summary: HxR. "The beat of my heart didn't skip. It stopped and I was damn near death"


**Now My Heart Beats Faster**

Wow, I haven't written anything in such a long time. This first chapter is a bit weird, no talking, just narration. Relena first person. I hope you enjoy this; this is an HxR fiction of some sort. Ages aren't necessary I'll just say somewhere between 17-23. Please read and review, I honestly enjoy criticism.

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It was rather hard for me being the youngest Vice – Minister because the adults, who were considerably older than me, were too condescending. My age and gender made me the minority and of course they were quick to overrule all of my decisions, no matter how beneficial they were. It was a show of power. Marking **their** territory. Men must never really mature and I know they simply cannot handle the fact that a young woman like myself is so aggressive and ambitious. It was gender bias at its zenith and I could do nothing about it. So it was no surprise to anyone that I lost my shit when I discovered that Hilde was now working in my branch.

It was relieving; a complete breath of fresh air in this stuffy building I worked in for about 40 hours a week. There was someone my age that could understand what the acronym "T.O.M." meant. I knew here because of our mutual connections to the ex-Gundam Wing pilots and we became the best of friends. Hilde is so lively and exciting. I had an ally whenever the fogues ganged up on me. I let down my hair more, figuratively and literally, and I even met a boy –we are dating now. I was a bit more radiant and I was told my eyes sparkled more. It's such a coincidence that she came back…

Hilde was sort-of-dating Duo. They always got into a silly disagreement, chairs were involved, and a sordid break up would ensue. After a week of sulking, they would call each other and always get back together. Well, I suppose she told him about the chance meeting between her and me because three months after our reunion, I received a call from Duo. He still sounded the same, just a bit funnier. He told everyone about me and he was having a party for all of us. So _they_ can see me again. It's been about a year since we've seen each other. The last time was at a Christmas Party and I stayed for about 10 minutes. I felt awkward and I only said "hi" to Wufei. Thinking about that made me feel a bit guilty. I started to politely decline because, well, I have work to do when Duo coyly mentioned that Heero was going. The beat of my heart did not skip at all. It stopped and I was damn near death. But I said no and ended the conversation.

I am independent and this was true. I'm not just saying this so I can make my own self feel better, I know this in my heart and it makes me feel more accomplished from the past. I've stopped being so naïve and I've grown as a person. I've also given up on that inane quest for **_his_** love. Yes, my heart does palpitate at the mention of his name, but only because I haven't seen him since **_that time_**. Also I hardly hear anyone mention his name and there was still unfinished business about things that happened between us. Or what didn't happen. Or what I wished had happened. Oh, God, 'til this day, I still don't know what to call this thing between him and me. It is quite possible that I fabricated it all in my head, that there is no relationship. There is no Heero, the love of my life. He is a figment of my sex-starved adolescent mind. There is only the pilot of Wing Zero, man who saved my life numerous times, fellow classmate who I **wasn't able to stop thinking about for two years**, and the man I used to know. Well, I tried to know that is.

Speaking to Duo opened a floodgate of silly memories. So I went walking to clear my system, I love to people watch. And then I understood that maxim about dealing with your problems right away or else they will follow you until you die.

The aspect about seeing Heero while I was trying to forget about him wasn't the fact he was wearing a Burberry Shirt and Armani Slacks. Or that his shoes were Pradas – very new and very polished. Or the fact that his slate eyes weren't void of emotion but instead tempestuous as he looked through my **eyessoulheartheartheart.**

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It was because he was standing there, right there, and I didn't drop dead. Thump. Thump. Thump. A slow and steady beat.

He made a gesture, as if he was going to talk to me and an exquisite creature of a woman ran out of a store, grabbed his arm, and kissed him on the cheek. She then turned to look at me, look back at him, and narrowed her eyes in askance. The moment was broken. Dead. Gone. My heart was steady.

And I just smiled.

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I hope you honestly enjoy this. I feel like it's a bit rushed. Next chapter will be better.

-BitterSweetSymphony.


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